Hotwifing 101

Courtesy of Hotwifing101

What is a Hotwife?

 

Good question! A Hotwife is really just what the two words together mean... a Hot Wife!

The term as we use it though, applies to any woman that has a man who feels she is hot enough to attract other men. It also implies that the man would desire some level of interaction between the Hotwife and another man.
It is also hoped that at some point the wife will at least acknowledge that she is indeed a Hotwife... and participate in this desire somehow.

The term and concept of Cuckolding is being used quite a bit these days, however Hotwifing is a slightly different idea.... Although "HotWife" is often used synonymously with the term Cuckoldress, within that lifestyle.

Our focus would be to take the emphasis off of Hotwifing as a lifestyle and consider it more of a simple phenomenon. In other words, let's not consider it any more than what it is, a fantasy, a possible reality that one can use to hopefully enhance their relationship.

Yes, the concept of another man kissing, holding or in some way making love to your wife is definitely a bit out of what we would consider the norm, however it is often a fantasy that many men (and women) have.

It is astonishing to discover how many men would love to see their women with other men, exhibiting some form of intimacy. We'll unpack many topics that will help men and women understand this topic of Hotwifing.

Please view the Hotwifing Topics below (menu on left) for more detailed information. We will be adding more and more topics over time, so please keep coming back as we build this site into a tool that you can use to hopefully get into Hotwifing if it is right for you.

Kissing Another Man

This is where many men vary in their wishes and/or fantasies. Some men would love to see their wives kissing another man and being intimate, whereas other's would never want their wife kissing someone else. There are reasons for both and varying degrees of feelings on this, however the thought of another man sparking this level of intimacy can be a great source of motivation for a woman to really enjoy the romantic side of things to whatever degree possible.

Assuming a husband would love to see his wife kissing another man, there must be some reason that he would want this. It isn't because he doesn't love his wife, it is mostly based on him seeing her pleased. Often a man feels that his wife would be re-inspired by the excitement of making out with this new man. After all, kissing a new man is something that brings back a certain level of their youth and freedom.

Women would be surprised to see how many men would be into their wives being intimate with another man. If a man is comfortable with his relationship and really trusts his wife, kissing is a great place to start. Either the husband or wife should start initiating some level of kissing... even hello and goodbye kisses with a man that would be appropriate for this. Women shouldn't be afraid of this, as their husband approves, and it could be a lot of fun. Then you can gradually make the kisses and hugging a little longer each time and enjoy the intimacy.

It is important for a couple to assure each other that they are not looking to lose the other person, but rather that they are excited about the new experience and happy that both are pleased by this.

Who to kiss? It would depend upon a couples situation. It could be an old friend of his or hers, or someone you both met recently. It is important that you both like and trust the man and most important that she's somewhat attracted to him.

Many men would love to watch their wife kissing another man, but would also be willing to give space when the time comes, so they can feel free to kiss, uninhibited, until they become comfortable with someone watching. This will happen almost naturally, however you should just be curious and watch for what is appropriate for the situations.

The great thing about kissing and making out is that you can just leave it at that, or pursue more.... that's up to you and your mate to decide. A woman shouldn't be offended that her husband would want this. It is because his husband trusts her and wants to share her beauty that is inspiring this. A fantasy yes... but it is also a wonderful way of renewing your relationship and sharing something very intimate together.

Why Men Would Want This?

Many could come up with answers that would fit the mold, but I think the most compelling answer is that a lot of men love to see their wives excited and feeling free.

Let's take the opposite end of the spectrum for a moment... a very jealous man — If a man is extremely jealous, it is because he strives to over control a woman. In most cases this is not a desirable position for either partner in the relationship.

As we take a step towards the middle and discuss a "normal" or so-called "normal" relationship. In this type of situation, if a man (friend or stranger) were to walk up to his wife and tell her she was hot, or flirt in some other way... the husband would either become jealous or somehow try to squelch that type of talk and thinking for sure. And in most cases the wife would expect that to happen.

On our side of things, although jealousy is not completely absent, much of our need to control is relinquished by a desire to allow our wife's freedom to respond in a friendly fashion, unless there is a safety factor involved. It is also freeing for us to know that men liking our wives excites us rather than angers us.

Most women are kind of programmed to think that their husband should be jealous if they really love them. This is generally learned from watching others on TV or in movies. This unfortunately promotes kind of an ownership mentality on both partners. Couples should feel like they belong to each other, but jealousy proves nothing as far as love goes. Sacrifice and trust are actually more of a test of true love.

It is really a compliment and an exciting thing for us to know that other men are interested in our beautiful wife. After all, when a man flirts with her, it is usually because he's attracted to her. He doesn't want to harm your wife, but probably really likes her... as he should!

Men wanting this is very much like wanting other men to like your wife in a friendly way, but if it were to get physical between them, that would express his feelings toward her even greater. And we just kind of hope that happens in some way. We want to be a part of helping our wives achieve newness and excitement. It's also something we can enjoy in common with our wives... kind of like helping your best friend with their love life.

Hotwifing is about men letting their wives be as hot as they can be! He wants his wife to enjoy opening up to attention from other men and for her to really enjoy it. Most of the time this process is initiated by the husband, but it is really inspired by his beautiful and trusting wife.

Can He Really Love His Wife?

Some women wonder how a man that really loves them could want them to be involved with another man in an intimate way. Some would doubt that it's even possible. On one hand it's easy to understand why a woman would think that, because she has certain preconceived ideas about what a relationship strictly exists of. On the other hand, there are many assumptions that could be causing a woman to feel doubtful.

Women often think that it's just another perverted thought for a man to want his wife to be with another man, and of course it can be, but it is really more than that for most men who contemplate this.

With a husband that truly would want his wife to be somewhat intimate with another man, he is most often expressing his desire to see her experience new feelings and pleasure, that is hopefully a turn-on for all, and an enhancement to their relationship. Knowing or watching his wife enjoy the company of another man is just a great feeling of fulfillment for many men. And, the fact that they want to share this desire openly with their wives is something that women should ponder.

There are men (and women) that have secret or open desires to do a lot of things where one might question their spouses love. It is is all about the motivation and reasoning for those things. A man who trusts his wife with another man is not doing so for just a thrill, but it is also about being free and honest with his wife, and the enjoyment of sharing something special.

Many men love, respect and trust their wives so much, that they just can't help wanting other men to experience that in some way. It is a great compliment at the very least, when a husband feels his wife is so attractive that other men would desire her.

Even if a woman never chooses to act on her husbands desire, it is good for her to know and accept the way he feels, because she will always be a Hotwife to him regardless.

Hotwifing and the Christian Religion

This is a topic that could certainly create a lot of tension in a room full of people. Fortunately we are not going to get too dogmatic here from any point of view. It would however, do us a disservice to our Christian readers to avoid this topic, as it can be a make or brake it area to understand for those interested in Hotwifing.

There are some basic things to understand. First, the Judeo/Christian Bible does not directly point out Hotwifing in any real sense... good or bad. There are only references to unfaithful wives and infidelity, but they are referring to situations where husbands would not approve.

One could attempt to classify Hotwifing as adultery, or unlawful fornication, but there are no proof texts at all. Adultery is unfaithfulness, and fornication is dealing with idolatrous sex. Hotwifing is something that a loving couple does for their own pleasure and fantasy, but doesn't have to violate their marriage vows or their relationship with God.

Inevitably Biblical Christians are aware that human beings are of a fallen nature and in complete need of salvation from all sins; past, present, and future. This doesn't give Christians a license to sin, but also doesn't exempt them from sinning. Salvation is a free gift to all sinners, if they accept it.

The Bible is also very clear about multiple wives as being a normal lifestyle throughout history. There was never an abolishment of this, nor was there a condemnation against multiple husbands or men, other than through unfaithfulness.

The strongest argument against Hotwifing from a Christian stand point of view would be that one could become obsessed and turn it into some kind of idol, false god, or sexual perversion. That can be true, however... one's business, hobby, or even there own marital relationship can take on those same characteristics.

Atheists could most likely care less about sin or the God of the Bible. But for those that believe in scripture and adhere to their faith, we recommend that you personally discuss this with your spouse, and check the scriptures for yourself without bias.

Levels of Hotwifing

Hotwifing is becoming a lot more popular these days and it can take on a lot of meanings to different people.

Most people are not familiar with the terms "Hotwifing" and "Hotwife", but they do understand the two words "Hot" and "Wife".

"Hot" being the modern term that applies to someone that is deemed attractive, and could also have a secondary meaning of "hot to trot"... as the old saying goes. "Wifing" could be considered a combination of the two words "wife" and "sharing"... thus we have "Hotwifesharing" or Hotwifing.

The foundation of Hotwifing is built on the desire to allow a wife's freedom to share that hotness in some way. This desire is often first expressed by the husband, but not in all cases. Many women, now considering themselves to be hotwives, have stated that they had an interest in other men but didn't think it was a possible situation.

Once the desire is realized by one or both people in the marriage, the first level of Hotwifing has begun. This is the level that either sparks the interest to pursue the situation or harbors it as a fantasy.

The second level of hotwifing would be where one or both of the married couple (usually the man) begin to pursue Hotwifing, either by communicating the desire to their spouse, and/or doing things that would provide hints about the desire to their loved one.

The third level of hotwifing is when both parties are at least somewhat aware of the Hotwifing desire, and accept it even on a fantasy level. This could be just talking together about possible scenarios of her kissing someone, or maybe you talk about her flirting with a friend, etc.

The fourth and final level that we will mention is when a wife actually shares some degree of intimacy with another man. This could be going out on a date, making out with him, or even sleeping with him. This is all something that the husband would approve of and most likely encourage. Many times the husband is present or close by, but not in all cases.

These are typical stages of Hotwifing, however sometimes things can vary. The most important thing is that you take things slowly and carefully, always communicating with your spouse. It can be a real fun process going through the various levels with each other's pleasure in mind.

Hotwife sharing is a fantasy that a couple can enjoy together, and has benefited many marriages. It can spark a regeneration of intimacy for many couples.

Hot Clothes for a Hotwife

This is a win/win topic for everyone. She gets new clothes and then he gets to see her in them. Not to mention the others that will enjoy seeing her too!

The first thing that typically happens when a husband, or wife gets into thoughts about sharing her beauty with others, her wardrobe will begin to change. In some cases this is a drastic change, if a woman is a very conservative dresser, but in other cases it is just enhancing her already hot or semi-hot wardrobe.

In typical marriage situations the husband rarely cares how his wife dresses, especially in public. The thought of picking out his wife's clothes is usually a most daunting task. The opposite is true for a husband that wants her to share more of her hotness with others. In fact, there are many situations where women become almost dependant on the man, helping with clothing purchases. And they usually enjoy sharing this with their husband.

It is not always about buying very short skirts, low cut blouses, or high heels... as most people would think. It is more about letting her display herself in a way that is most optimal for her appearance in any given situation. After all, a woman that works in a business environment most likely wouldn't wear a mini skirt every day, however, nice skirts, dresses, or pants that fit her body are something that is focused on.

Women that wear baggy clothing, old fashioned dresses, buttoned up sweaters, and anything else they can to hide themselves are often doing so for comfort, modesty, low self esteem, or possibly mistaken religious reasons. When husbands begin to take interest in what their wives are wearing, it can be a great time in a couples life. Both can share the companionship of picking out clothes together. It also lets her know that her husband cares about her looks. When a woman dresses nice, and doesn't hide herself, her self confidence is greatly enhanced. Not to mention the gifts that now become possible year round!

Points to Consider

The man should begin to slowly get involved in her clothes purchasing decisions. He should also listen to her about his clothing. It can be a two way street. You will want to first start dressing for each other rather than just your own comfort.

 Make gradual changes in her wardrobe. Don't go from dresses that are down covering her shoes right to a short mini skirt. Most women would feel very uncomfortable with such drastic changes. It is better to maybe go with an above the knee skirt, until she feels comfortable showing off her legs.

Share with each other about how she looks. Tell her what you think. Tell him if others liked your clothing at work or out somewhere. Tell her if you saw someone checking her out in a store, etc. There will be a wonderful new part of your lives that will be opened up by this type of sharing.

 Women should attempt to wear lingerie that is somewhat pleasing to their husbands. High cut granny underwear may be comfortable, but certainly does nothing to attract most men. Ask your husband what looks good to him. Wearing PJ's to bed is nice sometimes on those cold nights, but not every night. You don't have to dress like a Victoria Secret model every night, but you it will certainly make you feel like a sexier woman if you regularly wear hotter lingerie.

There is so much fun that you can have when you start to share ideas on her clothing. You don't have to spend tons of money either. Most department stores have a variety of price ranges on some really nice clothing.

Start slow and make gradual improvements and you will both enjoy the fact that she is looking hotter and hotter all the time.

Advantages of Marriage and Excitement of Dating!

One might ask "Why bother getting married if you are going to spend time with other men too?" That is a good question, however, it is a very limited way to look at marriage or a long term, committed relationship.

Some women get married without having ever been intimate with another man, others have... as they say, "played the field"... In either case, Hotwifing could be a good fit. Wouldn't it be fun to feel the thrill of dating again?

When a woman and man marry, it is a multifaceted union that covers anything from their initial attraction, to raising and supporting a family together... Not to mention the spiritual and social aspects of the marriage. When a man really wants his wife to enjoy other men, it is a great opportunity for her to experience the best aspects of both the married and single worlds.

One thing that gets brought up a lot in relationship discussions and counseling is that "marriage isn't just about the intimate times"... However, if that is correct, why do so many marriages break up when an extramarital affair is discovered, even if it is not a serious encounter? On one hand we have the intimate part being portrayed as only one slice of a marriage, and on the other hand, it appears to have paramount significance.

For many years people have been incorrectly portraying the concept of infidelity, by pinning it mostly on the passionate moment. It is actually the deception and lack of trust that causes a feeling of betrayal, and not just the physical and emotional act of an affair.

Although intimacy is an important part of marriage, having someone to trust, share, and grow old with is the real foundation. And although there is nothing wrong with staying single, the benefits of marriage can be great.

When a married woman chooses to spend time, or share intimacy with other men (with her husbands approval, help and blessing), it is only an addition to the other good things of the marriage, and doesn't violate or betray anyone's trust.

Hotwifing is based on couples that are very committed to each other. Honesty, trust and communication get better in most Hotwifing situations. In addition, the thrill of her enjoying freedom to spend time with other men is something he wants to deeply share with his hot wife.

So, if you are married and you add Hotwifing to your bag of tricks, you will enjoy the advantages of marriage, and the wonderful excitement you felt when you were dating!

Potential Benefits of Hotwifing

Hotwifing can have many benefits for a couple. It is among one of the top male fantasies, and is often the answer to many women's hidden or undiscovered desires.

Although this is not a complete list of potential Hotwifing relationship benefits, it should provide a good sample.

•     Fulfillment of lifelong fantasies for one or both in the couple.
•     Freedom for a wife to enjoy the company of the opposite sex.
•     The man is freed up from most feelings of jealousy.
•     Couples share in many more activities together.
•     Increased communication and trust.
•     Increased faithfulness and reduced thoughts of infidelity.
•     Husband feels he has the hottest woman in the world.
•     Women gain confidence and freedom to express themselves.
•     Women realize their full potential for intimacy and fantasy.
•     Intimacy is improved and intimate knowledge is gained.
•     Variety and new excitement is enjoyed by the couple.
•     Physical satisfaction is better attained.
•     Husband's increased interest in his wife's clothing and looks.
•     Husband tends to want to please his wife more in all things.
•     Closer friendships can develop.
•     A wife's wardrobe increases and improves.
•     Men are very satisfied with their wives' enjoyment.
•     Married women can go out on dates and husbands love it.
•     Husbands can become more romantic and caring.

Although there are many potential benefits, couples should have a good relationship prior to starting any type of Hotwifing relationship. A couple should completely understand each other and set ground rules, before any real encounters are attempted.

The negative aspects of Hotwifing are usually due to societal and religious misconceptions, often causing guilt, angst, or other negative feelings. A lack of communication can also cause problems in a Hotwifing relationship. These things can be overcome, but talking about them is crucial.

The advantages of Hotwifing are really greater than the average person would think. These potential benefits listed here should give a couple a good idea of how Hotwifing can be of great value to their relationship.

Fetish, Fantasy, or Fact of Lifestyle?

As we research the concept of Hotwifing, we run into all kinds of websites, blogs, articles and forums. It appears that Hotwifing can take on a bunch of different meanings, depending upon who you ask or reference.

We'll take a look at how Hotwifing is viewed in three different ways. Each one not really wrong within itself, however, our concern is a realistic approach to the subject.

Fetish?

It isn't necessarily wrong to look at Hotwifing from the standpoint of "it being a fetish", however, when we do this... hotwives, their husbands, and their lovers, tend to be viewed as though they are virtual deviants of "normal" society... practicing some type of illicit, underground behavior. Some may like that outlook, but it does little for those who are driven to share their relationship for more mainstream reasons.

It is not surprising that some fetish communities would include wife sharing as a part of their focus, as it is a concept that is not practiced in the open by many people. Even most Hotwifing couples that consider themselves more mainstream, remain discreet in their wife sharing practices.

If you choose to look at Hotwifing simply as a fetish, you are not wrong; however, you will be missing out on the reality of how common a thought Hotwifing is with many couples.

Fantasy?

Is Hotwife Sharing simply a fantasy that we can only imagine, and never achieve in reality?

Hotwifing is truly a fantastic thought for those who desire it, so yes it is a fantasy!... however many don't pursue their fantasies, especially when they believe they are unattainable. It is unfortunate that there are a lot fewer organizations portraying Hotwifing in a realistic way, than the many who display it as mostly fantasy. This has skewed the information field considerably.

There is nothing wrong with fantasy in any walk of life! People often fantasize about being rock stars, movie stars, baseball players, models, or dancers. Some fantasies can be achieved with dedication, and others are more dreams that are long-shots at best.

Hotwifing has unfortunately, for the most part been portrayed as a fantasy that is only pursued by the most daring of swingers... which is why it is a subject that is much more difficult for the average couple to approach.

Fact of Lifestyle?

When we use the term "Lifestyle", we are not referring necessarily to a "Hotwifing Lifestyle", but rather to Hotwifing being a subcategory within a "Committed Relationship Lifestyle"... or "Married Lifestyle".

For many couples, Hotwifing is something that one or both have desired throughout their entire relationship. Others think about it later in their lives together. While Hotwifing isn't for everyone, it is something that can realistically be done by everyone, if they so desire.

We would be lying to say that Hotwifing is a normal everyday occurrence in most relationships, however, it is one of the biggest fantasies that many men have, as well as the many committed women that enjoy variety and surprise in their love lives.

Conclusion!

Bridging the gaps between fetish, fantasy, and Hotwifing being a real possible addition to a relationship, is where our focus should be. There's nothing wrong with having fetishes, as many do. Fantasies can be normal and healthy as well. However, the worst thing would be limiting the real possibility of our subject matter to being strictly a fetish or a fantasy... when there is practicing proof that Hotwifing works positively in many relationships.

Hotwifing isn't for everyone, but it can be approached in an intellectual and realistic way by those who choose.

The Perfect Gift for a Man!

Whether it is Christmas, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Valentines Day, etc... one of the biggest complaints you hear is that "my husband has everything he wants!... I don't know what to get him anymore?"

It is normally a very common concern, but from a hotwife husband's (or wannabe hotwife husband's) perspective, it could potentially be an opportunity to give the best gift a woman could ever offer, or that a man could suggest for himself.

Imagine a husband saying to his wife, something like "what I'd really like for a gift is to just to go out to the store and shop with you for some really nice clothing."..."But the only catch is that you have to let me pick out all the clothes, from underwear to accessories. As long as the husband is willing to sacrifice other gifts... as a couple you are saving money on a big gift for him, and that money is used to buy her clothes. Really a gift for you both, but it is for him.

I'm sure this has piqued our reader's interest now! It isn't so far fetched a thing to do, and it is a great way for a couple to really share in a great, fun gift that they can both enjoy!

Husbands can decide ahead of time, which stores to shop in, and set any limits that you both agree upon. He could buy her clothes that are somewhat hot, yet can also be worn daily by her... not just sexy lingerie, but that can be part of it.

The other part of the gift to him... is that she must wear the clothing in public within a week or two after you purchase them. If they are decided upon as work clothes, she must wear them to work, however if they are deemed ahead of time as "going out" clothes, then you must go out in them.

You should photograph her in the clothing and mark down the exact outfit, so it doesn't get separated into various mix and match outfits. Not that the clothing items can't be used separate, but you will want to document the whole outfit or the various outfits... so they can be re-worn the same way you planned originally.

It's going to take some guts for a husband to offer this as his main gift from her to him... but that's really the way this will have the best effect.

Now go and tell her what you want!