My idea of a fun night...

Let's not kid ourselves. This thing that we enjoy is awkward. It's exciting... but it's awkward. It's awkward for the husband, the wife, and the guy you invite to participate.

Having been the second guy in the room, I know what it's like from the perspective of the bull. It's probably not suprising that I use the same approach I used when meeting couples as a single guy, as I use for meeting single guys for our extra-curricular fun now that I'm married.

We always...

• meet casually first
• play safe
• respect boundaries

My concerns as a single guy are much different than the concerns I have now.  Being a straight guy, one of my main concerns was that there was no interest in man-on-man activities. Coming in a close second was that
I go against the stereotypical 

Before any type of play I would meet with the couple in a public place over a drink or appetizers. It wasn't usually a long meeting; just an opportunity for us to have a face-to-face and get an idea about one another.... maybe 30 minutes or so.

After some talking I was able to tell whether the wife was genuinely into this or if it was something she was being kind of coerced into by her husband and her interest was minimal.  There was a couple occasions where the husband was wayyyyy more interested in me than the wife. To the point that it made me uncomfortable and being a straight guy, I didn't pursue anything further.

Just like you're hoping that your wife gets the fuck of her life and you get the show of yours... the bull is just as interested in a fun time and good sex. If the wife isn't into it then no one gets the experience they hoped for.