A. The way we typically have done it is through a response to a profile on a swinger site. We take a look at their profile, the pictures in it, and ask for access to their private pix, and we do the same for ours, although faces showing are not a requirement.
A lot will be responses to your profile/ad—and we have a disclaimer in the text to ensure they have read the profile. If they are not reading the profile first, we move along. Next!
Most men active in the lifestyle will typically have their face showing, but after a message exchange or two they are usually willing to share a g-rated photo. (If they don’t have a g-rated photo of themselves,move on to the next person).
The profile has to fit the type of man my wife likes best: tall, over 35, professional, and in it for the fun. It is amazing how a profile can reveal a lot.
The next thing is we ask if they have read our profile, and we restate how we like to play it. Straight hubby likes to be there to take photos, safe sex for anything vaginal, no anal, etc. With an affirmative response, we ask for a phone number and she talks to him on the phone. Again there is a lot about how compatible they will be revealed in a phone conversation—and they talk about what each other likes. The phone call also tends to ramp up the erotic side of things.
After a couple of messages back and forth, and a phone call, we meet for a drink, usually in a hotel bar. We have the room reserved to spend the night. If she gets a bad vibe we can always say “Sorry, I just don’t think it will work.” We have a buzz word prearranged if she wants to bail.
Now having said that, I can say that for most women when they have agreed to meet a potential lover they have already made up their mind to do him—provided he is as he represented himself.
From there we go up to the room and everyone leaves smiling.
I’m not saying this is the only way to do it, but it has worked very well for us.
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