The Hotwife Lifestyle for Beginners

The hotwife lifestyle appeals to many men and women of an open-minded nature who have a strong relationship and wish to explore beyond the horizons of traditional sexuality in regard to marriage and monogamy.

The hotwife lifestyle differs from polyamoury or an open marriage because it refers specifically to a man's wife having one or more sexual partners outside the marriage while the man remains faithful to his wife.


On the face of it this seems unfair and biased in favor of women, but the truth is most women enter into the hotwife lifestyle at their husbands' urging. It's a very common fantasy for men to want to see their wives having sex with other men, and it has its root in evolutionary biology.

However we are not robots, and despite the undoubted attraction of the lifestyle to many men (and women, once they've been persuaded to give it a try) there are more than enough stories of how the hotwife lifestyle has ended in disaster for us to conclude it does pose some very real emotional traps and pitfalls.

So if you are thinking about taking your first tentative steps into the hotwife lifestyle, here are three simple tips beginners will perhaps find useful in avoiding some of the bigger problems.

First, your man needs to feel emotionally secure. Once the bucking, heaving and writhing is done, you'll be kissing and cuddling your lover. That's natural. But if your husband is present (or imagines it if he's not -- he's not stupid), then it's going to play on his emotions.

So she must remember he'll need reassurance and reaffirmation after she's done the deed -- and after every time she's done it.

Second, open and honest communication is paramount. One problem couples often face is when the women goes off and makes love to another man, she, for whatever reason, is reluctant to talk about it -- shyness, misplaced guilt, whatever.

But this is not how most men want it. If they're not actually present watching, the overwhelming likelihood is they'll want to make love to their wives the minute they walk back in the door while she's telling him in exquisite detail about every last little detail, leaving nothing out.

She can't have her cake and eat it, and expect her man to be happy about it.

And third, everyone is different. What's more every dynamic between different individuals is different. What this means in the hotwife lifestyle is the thing she does with you, her husband, are going to be different from the thing she does with her lover.

She might like things you don't, but he does. He might be taller than you so can do different things. Maybe he's a bigger, or loves different positions.

The point is you can't realistically expect her to do exactly the same with you she does with him. It's not a judgement of your worth as a lover -- it's just how things are sometimes.

Remember: the hotwife lifestyle is supposed to be fun and beneficial to your marriage. So don't get all wound up about irrelevant details and let it ruin your fun.

My wife, Josselyn, and I have been able to live the hotwife lifestyle for the past 7 years and apart from a few hiccoughs it's been a lot of fun.

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15 comments :

  1. Well my husband has asked me alot in thepat 6 months to try this... of course ive thought of every reason not todo it. But as i think more and more about out. It kinda turns me on. I am aa jealius wife when it comes to my husband so i think this is one of the reasons it's so hard for me. He wants me to go out and find a guy. . I have no clue on how do that. Do you just ask ..Hey want to fuck me while my husband watches? Or how do you do this. . Im home with three kids 99% of time. ..

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    1. I think you should give it a try. sex is to be enjoyed. I wish my wife would try it. Very hot. Most men would love their wives even more exploring this lifestyle.

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  2. There are options other than "going out" to pick up someone in bars or clubs. You could use online services like Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison (for cheating spouses) and other sites similar to those. I've known women to get free membership to some of those sites because they want women to maintain their membership to make the site interesting and worthwhile. I'm sure you'll get a lot of attention and you won't have to leave your home (initially).

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    1. i prefer either a hotel bar or a club to meet men specificly black men

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  3. Im a hotwife in Atlanta GA and Ive had good success finding real sexy gentlemen on web sites SDC and SLS swinger sites. Hubby does initial screening then passes them on to me for a meet and greet interview before anyone gets necked. I prefer longterm FWB relationships with classy gentlemen who make me laugh treat me like a lady and fuck me with passion.

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  4. i have had good luck going to a black club i have met real gentlemen there also big selection

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  5. I have a huge fantasy about my wife being a hotwife but don't know if I could actually go through with it. I definitely am not into the more cuckold lifestyle with husband demeaning and degradation. Anything I want my wife to do, I want it to be us experiencing it together, that is what it is all about, growing OUR sexuality together. What I mean by that is a threesome together with me there but also even if she was to fuck a guy without me there, I want to be fully involved with her calling and texting me, telling me how she feels and what she is doing with pics and videos and then come right home to me (with a pussy full of cum) to reclaim her, make sweet love to her (that passionate kind where you are making love but also fucking like porn stars) and she tells me all about it.

    This idea turns me on so much and I know I want to have more mfm threesomes with my wife and even watch her with 2-4 guys. But I am unsure whether either of us could actually take the plunge for her to fuck someone without me there. We have always played together. Any help or advice? I would love to connect with another experienced hotwife couple and chat openly with the husband and ask questions.

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  6. She needs one of our anklet charms!

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  7. What's the meaning of said anklet?

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  8. Questions for REAL hotwives out there - How do you like the hotwife choice? Is it really hot, sexy, and satisfying? How do you feel about your husband now? Is it better with a "steady" FB you enjoy being with, as opposed to one-night stands? Do you enjoy doing things with your play dates that you don't or won't do with your husbands?

    For husbands of hotwives - How do you view your wife since she's had a FB? Does she seem sexier now? Is she happier now that she goes on play dates? Is she more - (or less) loving toward you? Is your marriage or relationship stronger now? Are you happy for her to have a lover on the side?

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  9. And the problem with this is the things you need to do to make the hotwife lifestyle appeal to your wife means sitting down and thinking about it a little more deeply than you have been doing -- simply because when it comes to these things, men and women have a very different approach. cuckold dating

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    1. mfm.sex I'd like to express my interest. I'm a senior that's bi, horny as helll, I'm lonely, I'd make good company. Paul

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  11. 2010 i fucked my first black man he was my walmart manager he fucked me in the security room the next day i was in the break got naked on the table my black manager fucked me he cum a massive load deep in my pussy his cum leaked out of my pussy onto the table.my pussy is very fertile 3 months later i was pregnant.since 2010 i have fucked over 400 black men i always make sure black men cum in my pussy and in my ass.i have dedicated my body for black men to breed,2014 I got my first queen of spades/rose tattoo on my titty,2015 i got BBC WHORE SPADES TATTOO ON MY PUSSY.. if anyone reads this you can google SEXYLILBBCWHORE my name is Tammy McCarthy I AM A WHORE FOR BLACK MEN AND PROUD.

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