Are You In A Cuckold Marriage?

Where did the term cuckold come from?
 I have a fantasy of watching my wife have sex with other men in front of me...

The female equivalent cuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562. Cuckold refers to the fact that the man being cuckolded is the last to know about his wife's infidelity. This also refers to a tradition claiming that in villages of European time, the community would gather to collectively humiliate a man whose wife gave birth to a child that was not his own. This is where the humiliation aspect of the cuckolding first came into play. According to this legend, a parade was held in which the hapless husband was forced into wearing antlers on his head as a symbol of his wife's infidelity.
 A cuckold in some areas of therapy is considered a fetish: As a clinical sexologist and relationship counselor, I describe it as a marriage where cuckolding is practiced by a husband and wife where the husband derives sexual pleasure from watching his wife have sex with a man that has a larger penis.  The couple forms an agreement in the marriage upon allowing the cuckolding which can vary in degree of role play from couple to couple to a lifestyle of cuckolding. This knowledge and tolerance of the spouse's activities makes the person in such relationships a wittol, properly speaking.

As a part of the cuckolding, the husband watches his wife having sexual activity with other men in front of him or she tells him about her experiences after. The husband being the victim of the cuckold is a major element of the kink. In the fetish cuckolding subculture, the female is typically sexually dominant while the man takes on a submissive role, only becoming involved with her or her lover when she permits it—sometimes remaining completely celibate in the marriage all together. One of the main ingredients in the cuckolding marriage is the humiliation and for the husband to be withheld of sexual release until his wife decides to allow him to climax.

In some marriages, the husband may even wear a male chastity as a way of his wife controlling his orgasm, playing out the fact that he is not capable of controlling it himself as part of the role of being the submissive partner. Part of the sex play is also the comparison of penis size and shaming her husband for not having a large enough penis to give her full enjoyment of penetration.

Many times people will get the concept of cuckolding confused with swinging or polyamory, but the cuckolding is different in the way of shame and humiliation used as part of the overall relationship and the man providing his wife with a man to please her. There are other aspects of submission that may take place and domination where the woman uses domination paraphernalia to tie her spouse up and spank, paddle, or flog him as way of punishment or shaming for lack of fulfillment of her sexual desire.

 This may become a part of just the sexual play in the couple’s life or this may become a way of life for the couple depending on the degree of the cuckolding in the marriage.

Cuckolding is not a new practice and has been around for centuries, but it is a practice that sex counselors and sex coaches like me and others in the profession are knowledgeable about. A man who may have these feelings of wanting to be submissive to his wife, or wants his wife to shame him, but lives in fear of anyone knowing is not as uncommon as we may think. My hope as a Clinical Sexologist is to write educational articles as a ways to enlighten the public on cuckolding and to let people know who may need help understanding or guidance in this area that they are not alone and can talk to someone about it. One of the many questions that I get with cuckolding is, "how do I tell my wife and then if she does agree where do find a person to start the cuckolding with?" As with any new adventure that a married couple takes with sex play it should be done slowly.

ORIGINAL SOURCE